V-Day
 

Fecking hate it.

"What are you getting me?"

.. "What? Is a card not enough?"

Later, after to trip to la senza, im sorry I asked..

Last year one of my mates got his partner a 'thank you' card - legend.

He plans to get her a 'congratulations' card this year - legend.

Dont go near restaurants, my advice.

Cinema to see Hot Fuzz tomorrow night, my girlfriend rules!

I'll be doing Mrs tjs's toes as usual and then watching newsnight. Romance isnt dead, you know.

Ah Mark, you're a youngster. Don't waste a thought on it.

Valentines day is a day designed to make your partner hate you. No matter what you do, it won't be good enough. So don't bother doing anything. Start your day by going to work. Ignore her calls, txts etc. when she's realised that you have forgotten. At lunch time treat yourself to a decent meal and a meaningful discussion with some work colleagues. Laugh out loud at those who are preoccupied with the arrangements of the oncoming night out.

After work, head out with unattached mates for a few pints and laugh some more at the many couples staring at each other. In particular look at the women and think of how lucky you are not to be with your sulky "i didn't get gold for valentines" other half.

By pint number 8, give her a ring and say I l..l..l..love you babesh. Then head for a kebab while failing to hang up. Let her rabbit on in your pocket and then vomit on the roadside as she finally starts crying. Feel lucky as you can hang up. Clean your gob and laugh yet again at the many couples arguing after a night of pent up anger.

HAPPY VALENTINES.

Derek and Thomas's marraige counselling service is open for business

Appointments are necessary.

IRN members can be referred to our mechanic.

just remember folks i handle Seperation, Domestic Voilence and Divorce cases.

On a happier note, i also do paternity cases, if you get lucky.

Sorry for touting for business.

I'm a girl and even I think valentines is daft.
Lads, your partner only ends up hating you for the following reason:

Coming up to Valo's you're a rational woman:
You actually don't expect that much if anything, you may even tell your fella you don't want anything. It's a Hallmark driven event for teenagers and it's a unfair that women get more than men out of it and it's takes equality arguments back a fair whack. And everything's overpriced anyway.

Valo's day:
You go into work and there's always one prima donna who get's a huuuuge bunch of flowers from Mr. Perfect, she's getting flown to London for dinner at the Ivy, he's bought her Agent Provacteur's entire Spring catalogue and he wrote her a poem which he hand delivered and seranaded her with. Bitch. (and so is he actually)

Suddenly you feel inadequate and you feel that your fella's inadequate. So you stomp home and eye the little card and box of Roses you got and hate the world. And take it all out on poor boyfriend.

Oh what have I done!

Canceling flights and flowers as we speak!

How come the pubs get in trouble when they up the price of beer around big match days, while florists get away with blatant inflation on 14th Feb and nobody speaks out.

Where are the PeeDees "shop around" and Fine Gael "I will make cheap flowers available to all lovers" on this dreadful inequality?:D

Ah Hallmark, what a legend of a company. Eventing an entire event just to sell cards and cause general unrest in most people relationships, genious!

Oh and if some has a boyfriend that perfect, you must question if shes dating herself? What man can actually write a good love poem these days, that isnt "s**k me k**b or smack me in the gobb, casue roses are red and violets are blue, and i wanna s***w you":cool:

Thankfully as a very young man i have still not had to enjure such touture of forgetting this day or having someone to remind me. :p