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TGV · 10-12-2009, 14:32

A few examples of the most pointless messages on board Iarnrod Eireann trains (in each case repeated every day on trains all across the country and each time in two languages)...

Before the train leaves the station..."This train will be departing in approximately two minutes. All persons not intending to travel please disembark as the doors will be closing shortly."…Does Iarnrod Eireann have a major problem with people getting on trains and not wishing to travel? If not then perhaps they could dispense with this message.

"Ladies and gentlemen you are very welcome on board this service. This is a no smoking service. Please ensure that your luggage is properly stored and does not obstruct doors or passageways…Thank you for your attention and have a pleasant and comfortable journey…" A. All public workplaces are no smoking so it surely isn't necessary to remind people that it is no smoking…Should the same train users need a LUAS or Bus after their train, they won't be reminded again about their need to refrain from smoking. B. The journey would be much more pleasant and comfortable if it wasn't interrupted every minute by a public address system wishing me a bilingual happy journey. Maybe I'm being cynical but I don't feel that the computer really means it!

"The catering snack bar which is located towards the rear of the train is now open serving a selection of hot and cold snacks, beverages, minerals and drinks." Perhaps, they could replace "beverages, minerals and drinks" with the word "drinks" or else go the whole hog and include "libations, draughts, refreshments, liquids, and potions."

Sometimes for effect the catering snack bar announcement is announced numerous times to a backing chorus of the Toilet Address System telling a phantom Toilet user to extinguish their non-existent cigarette.

10-12-2009, 14:32	#12
TGV New to the board Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 3	"Thank You" said the Toilet A few examples of the most pointless messages on board Iarnrod Eireann trains (in each case repeated every day on trains all across the country and each time in two languages)... Before the train leaves the station..."This train will be departing in approximately two minutes. All persons not intending to travel please disembark as the doors will be closing shortly."…Does Iarnrod Eireann have a major problem with people getting on trains and not wishing to travel? If not then perhaps they could dispense with this message. "Ladies and gentlemen you are very welcome on board this service. This is a no smoking service. Please ensure that your luggage is properly stored and does not obstruct doors or passageways…Thank you for your attention and have a pleasant and comfortable journey…" A. All public workplaces are no smoking so it surely isn't necessary to remind people that it is no smoking…Should the same train users need a LUAS or Bus after their train, they won't be reminded again about their need to refrain from smoking. B. The journey would be much more pleasant and comfortable if it wasn't interrupted every minute by a public address system wishing me a bilingual happy journey. Maybe I'm being cynical but I don't feel that the computer really means it! "The catering snack bar which is located towards the rear of the train is now open serving a selection of hot and cold snacks, beverages, minerals and drinks." Perhaps, they could replace "beverages, minerals and drinks" with the word "drinks" or else go the whole hog and include "libations, draughts, refreshments, liquids, and potions." Sometimes for effect the catering snack bar announcement is announced numerous times to a backing chorus of the Toilet Address System telling a phantom Toilet user to extinguish their non-existent cigarette.