[Mark Hennessy]

And finally in breaking news.......hip flasks are to be banned from Croke Park in advance of Rugby internationals. In a statement issued by the GAA a spokesperson confirmed the ban has been introduced after a GAA delegation visted Landsdowne Road during the recent rugby internationals.
"We were very disturbed by what we witnessed over the course of the 3 games, said the spokesperson. "While we are making preperations to welcome rugby fans to Croke Park, we cannot accept this practise of a wanton piss-up, that takes place during a game."
The delegation claims, in a damning report submitted to GAA top brass, that the "hip-flask" culture must not be allowed into the bastion of Gaelic games. "We are a family friendly organisation and it would be irresponsible of us to allow this unadulterated *******-drinking practise to take place in one of our grounds", the spokesperson added. "The delegation saw with their own eyes the scandalous act of slipping the flask from the pocket of the Armani coat, sipping from it, grimacing as the contents hit the back of the throat and then flagrantly passing it on to the person next to them. Its disgusting."

Derek that is brilliant!

You've managed to capture the essence of a rugby international in a few sentences!