[12-1-2007] 13:30 Cork Dublin

[Mark Gleeson]

A little late for up to date information

The 13:30 got stuck in Cork station and couldn't pull away, nothing to do with the locomotive or Mk4 coaches

Prize for the first person to figure out why!

[packetswitch]

You say not locomotive and not carriages. My powers of logic are telling me it was therefore the fault of the DVT*. Right?

They forgot to turn it on? The cables between the DVT and the locomotive weren't plugged in? The driver got in the wrong end?





* in the interests of those reading this public section of the boards, driving van trailer, aka 'the pointy end', generator van, or whatever. In the case of this train, it (I think?) supplies power for things like lights and heat through the train, and enables the driver to drive when the locomotive is at the back - in current operation, Cork to Dublin, subject to correction, is in this format?

[Mark Gleeson]

Train was totally clear of fault. It did make it to Dublin with no passengers later, passengers got the 14:30

The hint is Cork station is on a tight curve, think what that means

[packetswitch]

The 'gap' was too big to mind?

[Mark Gleeson]

Lets just say the coefficent of friction was not what it should be, think about a train and a sharp bend

[Derek Wheeler]

Jaysus Mark, would you just say it and be done with it. We've known since Friday night.

[Mark Gleeson]

Its more fun this way

[packetswitch]

I have a picture in my head of the train separating and half of it rolling towards the tunnel out of Cork station and the other half creaking backwards...that couldn't be it?

[Mark Gleeson]

There is a curve, train wheels squeal so you deal with it through grease, won't take much to figure it out now

[MrX]

A leaf was detected between cork and mallow and a crack team of engineers with spatulas were sent out to scrape it off?

[Thomas J Stamp]

The train ran over Craig Doyle, his blood caused the train wheels to slip badly whilst his bones mangled the traction unit.

Meanwhile, his eyeballs shot out through the floor of the cab and impacted into the genitals of the driver causing him to shout "Oh me balls". This awakened a grumpy Badger from his Winter sleep, and he went on a rampage biting everyone he met, including Sean Murtage, a hapless fellow from Skibbereen who was just taking his consitutional that day.

Sean developed TB. He took to his bed and starrted suffering from delusions. These included quoting numbers which, happily for Mary, his wife, were the winning Euro Lotto Millions. With the €100 million he won Sean went to visit Aidnan Cashoggii and rented out a private army, came back to Ireland, deposed the State and set up a military junta. Many executions followed and by decree Matt Cooper has been established as the Official Religion of the State.

Much weeping and gnashing of teeth developed, whcih was handy for the dental trade. Using their new influence over the country the Dentists staged a coup, deposing the dictator Murtagh and amputating his mouth. the Dentists then performed un-nesssissaty corrective tratment on everyone, including strainge and weird epesodes of Orthodonics on the enderly and the lame. Meanwhile, using what little power his had left, Murtagh staged a rebellion from Mayo, but was utterly defeated in battle in Nielstown, where nobody noticed anything.

The dentists went on to rule for a thousand years untill they got fed up and went to live an an island somwhere with my cat.

Is that what happend?

Was it?

Was it?

Was it?

[Mark Gleeson]

Suprisingly the first sentence is the closest anyone has got to the real reason

Craig Doyle was nowhere to be seen anywhere

[Thomas J Stamp]

Craig Doyle was nowhere to be seen anywhere

That's because he was so mashed up.

[2Funki4Wheelz]

That's because he was so mashed up.

And is only identifiable by the dental records of his dazzling 100watt smile.
Ah Craig :o

[Thomas J Stamp]

Suprisingly the first sentence is the closest anyone has got to the real reason

What do I win?

[packetswitch]

A framed, signed photograph of Craig Doyle. Oh yeah.

[Mark Gleeson]

If you subsitute the blood for something else you get the answer

Thought people would have worked it out

[Thomas J Stamp]

Something else.......?

The Ugandan Navy on manouvers in the South Pacific?

Hordes of Wilderbeats gliding majesticly on the African Plains?

A large bottle of Dettol getting drunk in a pub?

Seventeen Spanish Tomatoes kidnapping a Japanses Tourist and holding her to ransom in Moore Street?

A large envelope kicking a small child in the face on The Angelus?

Global Warming resulting in the Earth Spinning out of Control and into the back of my Car whilst I'm waiting for an old lady to cross a zebra crossing?

[Mark Gleeson]

Ok the story goes

Cork station is on a tight curve, we all know the crazy gap to the platform as a result

They grease the side of the rails to the wheels don't squeel also saves on wheel wear.

Story is someone got a little over eager with the grease. Wheels go round and round and the train don't move much

War broke out as the blame as pinned on the right department

[kilman]

So the train was like old coyote chasing road runner. He'd go over the cliff and keep running but didn't go anywhere!-well except down.
Jaysus, how much grease would you to apply to a wheel to cause this!? Perhaps the IE canteen in Cork station had plenty from the morning fry and the eager worker remembering the reduce,reuse,recycle mantra (over)did his bit for the world.

[Derek Wheeler]

Thank god this is over.

[Mark Hennessy]

Jaysus im glad i got to read this whole thread in one go :D

[stanley]

13.30 Cork / Heuston cancelled, set failed in tunnel and back to Cork, passengers per 14.30 Cork / Heuston, Stop Order issued for Limerick Jctn., 13.30 set followed 14.30, empty to Heuston. 13.55 Cork / Mallow and 14.35 Mallow / Cork cancelled as a result. District Manager Cork advised that set did not fail and problem was caused by lubricant applied to rail flange by P.W.D.


THE TRUTH SETS YOU FREE

[Thomas J Stamp]

lubricant applied to ...... flange

Ohhhh............ more ****............

[packetswitch]

lubricant applied to rail flange by P.W.D.



****-Watching Dubliners?

People With Degreasers?

Platform11's Willing Dabblers?

[MrX]

I can't understand why kent can't have a new set of platforms that aren't on a curve. Surely there could be some kind of a simple junction setup to allow Cobh/Midleton-Mallow straight runs.

[comcor]

I can't understand why kent can't have a new set of platforms that aren't on a curve. Surely there could be some kind of a simple junction setup to allow Cobh/Midleton-Mallow straight runs.

One of the proposals for the redevelopment of Kent involved moving the platforms eastwards and straightening them.